Sharing an original plan...

We had some plans for this week that obviously aren't happening. Every month that goes by we see what we would have been doing this week pushed back even further. This week we were suppose to have a baby, we are reminded of this not only by the calendar but by friends and family having their babies. Originally all these people having babies around the same time as us was exciting, other women sharing your experiences, someone to wait it out with. But more recently we are reminded of what we are missing out on. Some are a big deal that I notice everyday in some small way, such as watching Laura become a big sister or actually holding your baby, other are smaller and easier to miss for example we don't get to share pictures of our babies birth day with everyone and we don't get to dress her up in the clothes we lovingly picked out for the trip home from the hospital. Most of these things I can't control or change no matter how much I want to, I can however share a few pictures. (I tried to pick one that was less graphic.)

This was her the last time she had a haertbeat, the doctors think this was only hours before she died.

These are her hands obviously after her birth.