Today I have been married for seven years. Looking back I knew Sam and I would have good times and bad, some experiences would bring us closer and some would threaten to pull us apart. But back then everything was theoretical. I could picture us having our first child, but I could never imagine how good it felt when they placed Laura in my arms and how the experiences and responsibilities of parenthood would bring Sam and I closer. I knew there would be sorrow in our lives too, I always thought that Sam and I would make it through these together relaying on each other. We've always been united. Everything was close to how I pictured it.
I always hear stories of couples who have split up after the death of a child. I thought how could you go through something that has to be harder then anything else together and then some how not make it through a marriage together. But after everything that Sam and I have been through the last couple of months, our baby dying, going through numerous test, never getting an answer and not knowing if and when we will have a healthy baby, I know that it would be easy. Everyone handles things in their own way, everyone heals in their own time and I know from experience that these don't magically line up for two people just because they are married. One day the other person can make things ten times worse the next day you would never have made it through without them.
There have been plenty of times lately that I have been afraid Sam and I won't see the end of the tunnel together. Sometimes it seems like we are on two separate pages, sometimes the way something makes me feel is no where close to how it effects Sam, some of the time he thinks I'm too sensitive and I think he is heartless. But then I think about the hours and days after the baby was born, while lots of family and friends where there for me, I never would have made it through without Sam, after all she was his little girl too.
I always hear stories of couples who have split up after the death of a child. I thought how could you go through something that has to be harder then anything else together and then some how not make it through a marriage together. But after everything that Sam and I have been through the last couple of months, our baby dying, going through numerous test, never getting an answer and not knowing if and when we will have a healthy baby, I know that it would be easy. Everyone handles things in their own way, everyone heals in their own time and I know from experience that these don't magically line up for two people just because they are married. One day the other person can make things ten times worse the next day you would never have made it through without them.
There have been plenty of times lately that I have been afraid Sam and I won't see the end of the tunnel together. Sometimes it seems like we are on two separate pages, sometimes the way something makes me feel is no where close to how it effects Sam, some of the time he thinks I'm too sensitive and I think he is heartless. But then I think about the hours and days after the baby was born, while lots of family and friends where there for me, I never would have made it through without Sam, after all she was his little girl too.
Happy Anniversary! This is beautiful and so honest.
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