Planned on everything being ok...

Laura cries at the slightest hint of blood even if she falls and no blood is present she squeezes her cut or scrape until she sees some sign of blood. A paper cut that is accompanied by a drop of blood can bring tears to her eyes in 3 seconds flat. Usually I just do a mental eye roll and wonder how the slightest hint of blood can send her into a tailspin.

But this morning when I saw that speck of blood make it's appearance in the toilet announcing the arrival of yet another period I knew that Laura was right a drop of blood can ruin everything. That drop of blood didn't just announce that I was again not pregnant, that drop of blood brought with it the news that our children will be over 6 years apart and at best we have another month of counting and testing ahead of us. I told myself that everything would be OK if we were just pregnant by our due date, I told myself everything will be OK if we were just pregnant soon after, now I don't know when everything will be OK.