Effecting our plans...

In October of 2007 I went off birth control, now one long TDY, one deployment, and one move later we are no closer to having a baby then we were almost 3 years ago. In the mist of my appointment with Dr. J, I can't help wonder when enough is enough. When should we just let the cards lay how they fall or throw in the towel. Basically when should we just be happy with what we have. We've already made sacrifices in other parts of our lives, but should we allow our whole lives to be consumed by conceiving a baby? How far should we take it, when we already have one healthy beautiful daughter?

Laura in April 2009!

Some help planning...

In the beginning of June I started seeing a doctor that is willing to work with me, she happens to be the doctor who delivered our baby in December. Even though she hasn't been there since the beginning, she is sympathetic to everything we are going through. She sat down with me and read over every test that was preformed on the baby, on the placenta, and on me after and before the delivery. So far no one has been able or wiling to do this with me. Dr. J assured me that she didn't think anything was wrong with me, she dismissed my self diagnoses of secondary fertility problems, and explained to me that stress and anxiety can play a significant roll in ovulation and conception. Besides telling me the obvious that I should try not to analyze every aspect of the reproductive process and sending me to a counselor who specializes in stress and anxiety, Dr. J told me she would not make me wait the mandatory 12 months to start fertility testing, she even mentioned some fertility drugs. A confirmation that nothing is wrong by some more blood test and the doctors helpfulness has allowed me to be hopeful again that maybe this is an actual possibility.




I know this clip is long, but I love how they see babies in the clouds, they paint the room and ready the nursery with care just to have the doctor tell them otherwise.

A new hair plan...

I've become lazy, actually who am I kidding I've always been lazy, now I just see proof staring me in the face. Laura has dried out green hair! She has been in the pool and sun constantly this summer. We have been very strict about the application of sunscreen, but apparently not so meticulous about making sure to wash and condition her hair after the pool. The combination of sun and chlorine has made the front of Laura's hair very blond, unfortunately this new coloring comes with a price. Her hair feels like straws, even after we wash and condition it, every morning she looks like she went to a hair salon run by a Muppet.

A dam good plan...

Last weekend we had company in town and since she had already seen and didn't want to re see the obvious highlights of Las Vegas, we got to skip the strip. Instead we visited the Hoover Dam. We got to take a dam tour, with a dam tour guide, and other dam tourist. We took some dam pictures, watched a dam movie and learned some dam facts. As you can tell I think the Hoover Dam is a damn good time!

It's actually damn pretty.

Sam was tired of the dam pictures by this point.

Is laughter the best medicine?

This week we got to hang out with some old friends from college. It is easy to forget how uncomplicated and simple it can be to hang out with good friends, friends who have seen you go through rough patches before, friends who know how to offer a distraction when you need one. I don't remember the last time I laughed this much. It was probably back in college, when I fist met Sam. Not everyone gets Sam but, I've always loved his sense of humor. The deployments, miscarriages and long hours of the last couple of years hasn't brought out the best in anyone's sense of humor. This last week hanging out with friends who have been there since the beginning of us, sharing the inside jokes you thought died long ago and making new memories revived something in me that everyday life sometimes hides, laughter.

Sam and Jason sometime around 2002

Kelly and I in July 2004

Everyone last weekend!

Taking a planning break...

I know, I know I haven't done an updated post in awhile but I've been very busy. Here are a few hints to what we've been up to lately.

Besides not having time to update, I also haven't had time to dissect why we aren't pregnant.

It all worked out...

It's official we are the worst parents ever! Sam and I went to Disney World without Laura. Laura got it in her mind about 4 months ago that she wanted to spend some time at Gramma's house without Mom or Dad. We threw around a few ideas of how to make ths happen, for a few reasons we settled on Sam and I finding something to do for a couple nights in Florida while Laura was enjoying Gramma time. We narrowed it down to a few choices, the finally decision was ultimately made when Sam forgot our passports therefor eliminating the Bahamas. Sam and I thoroughly enjoyed our mini vacation from everything. We got to walk around and eat at restaurants without having to worry about entertaining a 5 year old.
When we got back we explained to Laura where Mom and Dad went to spend some quality grown up time. I wasn't sure how she would react to this news, I couldn't fault her for being disappointed that she wasn't taken. But, Laura was nonplaused, she felt that she had the better end of deal because she got to hang out at Gramma and Grampa's house alone.