The best applied plans...

We finally found the correct exit! Sometimes you just have to pay better attention to the road signs. Today Sam, Laura and I made it to the beach! The waves were a little violent, but given that we live in a land locked state we can't really be choosy. Since the beach on a hot day is usually a baby free zone, I left a lot of my worries behind. Although by the end of the day I had something new to worry about, Laura got to much sun. I'm very embarrassed to admit that Laura may have a sunburn! Usually I'm very cautious with Laura, she is always covered in more then enough sun protection. Obviously I veered to far to the right at the relaxation exit, and missed the sign telling me to reapply the SPF 50 more often.

A wrong turn...

We thought we were going on vacation but we must have taken a wrong turn. We were suppose to take the exit marked relaxation and sun, but we must have accidentally taken a detour and ended up on Baby Boulevard. I've mentioned before that it felt like everyone in our lives are pregnant, having babies, or just had one, the last two weeks have confirmed this is as fact.

We started off the first week with 12 month old, Kylee!

We completed our week with 3 week old, Kolten!
We spent some time with 14 month old, Evan!

And finally we met 8 week old, Rachel!

It would be nice if I could say that all this time spent with family, friends and their babies has been nothing but fun and laughter, but I can't. Most of the time has been pleasurable and I hate to admit how much I have thought about myself and my "situation". Each one of these babies irked me in a different way. Two of these babies are genetically related to my baby, who they suspected had a genetic problem. One of these baby's Mommy told me she was 7 weeks pregnant, and I can't help wondering why her and not me. Two of these babies where born just weeks before or after our babies due date, as I held them with Laura at my side I couldn't help but think this was how it should be for me.

** As a side note I did not take 2 of these pictures, therfore I can't take credit for the good ones!**

Graduation plans...

This weekend my little girl, my baby, graduated pre-K! In the fall Laura starts kindergarten, I have been trying unsuccessfully to ignore this fact. All the other moms at school have been talking for months about where they are sending their 5 year olds to kindergarten. I have been steadily avoiding it. Today, when Sam enrolled Laura in Kindergarden I had to face the music, my baby will officially be starting at elementary school in August. To make matters worse she wants to ride the bus to school. Here in Las Vegas Kindergarten is only half day, thank god because I'm having a hard enough time with the idea of her going everyday.I can't bear the thought of her in a school with the "big Kids". Laura though is excited, she can't wait. All day we talked about meeting new friends, having a new teacher,and learning new things. I believe I scored points in the Mom area by not begging her to want to stay home with me for just one more year. I have empty nest syndrome!

It is pretty self explanatory as to why Sam had to take the initiative and actually sign Laura up for school.

Making plans together...

Today I have been married for seven years. Looking back I knew Sam and I would have good times and bad, some experiences would bring us closer and some would threaten to pull us apart. But back then everything was theoretical. I could picture us having our first child, but I could never imagine how good it felt when they placed Laura in my arms and how the experiences and responsibilities of parenthood would bring Sam and I closer. I knew there would be sorrow in our lives too, I always thought that Sam and I would make it through these together relaying on each other. We've always been united. Everything was close to how I pictured it.
I always hear stories of couples who have split up after the death of a child. I thought how could you go through something that has to be harder then anything else together and then some how not make it through a marriage together. But after everything that Sam and I have been through the last couple of months, our baby dying, going through numerous test, never getting an answer and not knowing if and when we will have a healthy baby, I know that it would be easy. Everyone handles things in their own way, everyone heals in their own time and I know from experience that these don't magically line up for two people just because they are married. One day the other person can make things ten times worse the next day you would never have made it through without them.
There have been plenty of times lately that I have been afraid Sam and I won't see the end of the tunnel together. Sometimes it seems like we are on two separate pages, sometimes the way something makes me feel is no where close to how it effects Sam, some of the time he thinks I'm too sensitive and I think he is heartless. But then I think about the hours and days after the baby was born, while lots of family and friends where there for me, I never would have made it through without Sam, after all she was his little girl too.

All the things we planned...

This week Sam and I have been married for 7 years, this actually doesn't seem so long but so many things have changed since we said I do…

Seven years ago we had a 5 year plan on kids, we made it 1 year.
Seven years ago gas only cost 1.74, but we only had one car to put it in.
Seven years ago we had 1,000 in our bank account, and we thought we were rich.
Seven years ago we moved to California, we had a whole empty room in our house.
Seven years ago we thought we would live all over the world, 3 states down half a world to go.
Seven years ago we had we had our whole married life in front of us, the future seemed so far off.

Winner takes all...

Laura is currently trying to earn money for a gameboy. She has been trying to earn enough money since January. Since she decided to spend most of her Birthday money in February on Build a Bear clothes, she only has about $15. A gameboy cost closer to $150. She is suppose to earn money by doing chores around the house, she also gets a few coins a week if she behaves in school, positive reinforcement and all. Last night Sam taught Laura a better way to earn money gambling. Laura wanted to play BINGO and apparently Sam finds a simple game of Hello Kitty BINGO boring, so he suggested we all put in a dollar and the winner takes all. Laura ran to get her piggy bank and counted out 4 quarters, I had to take a lone because apparently I'm the only one in the house without cash on hand. Laura probably lost about a dollar when all was said and done, but as we were putting her change back n her piggy bank I told her tomorrow there would be an opportunity to earn more money by helping me out around the house, she responded with or we can just play BINGO for money! I hope Sam feels good about himself after hustling a 5 year old.

Trying again to find the Blue Fairy...

If you were wondering where I wondered off to in the gap of entries, I apologize we went back to Disneyland. We have the season passes and they had a deal at the hotel we like so we thought why not? Here is a little bit of fun in what has lately been a not so fun world!

Waiting in line is sometimes hard for Laura....

so I bring some snacks.

I think I can help Disney...

I have alot of good ideas.

I took at least 40 pictures over the 3 days but I only actually appear in 3.

Not sure what is going on with this...

but Sam thinks it's hilarious.



Laura loves the rides...

I know everyone is starting to thing we have come unscrewed or something worse because we keep going away on weekend trips. We don't have much of a life here at home outside our weekly commitments so we are just trying to keep busy else where. I sometimes wish that we can stay where all you need is a blue fairy to make your dreams and wishes come true.