Planning a trip...

In a couple of weeks we will be heading off to Disneyland again. This time we are using a couple different excuses to reason our mini-vacation. First of all Sam felt that he didn't get the relaxed stress free time that he planned during his time off in December. So he was excited to take some time off work to get away for a couple of days just the three of us. Second, Laura has a birthday coming up and what better way to celebrate, or convince her not to have a party, then a trip to Disney! Finally, we thought everyone could use some good old Disney fun.

So with trip planning in full swing, the tickets bought and the hotel booked, we started talking about what everyone wanted to do once we got there. I said I wanted to try a new restaurant and ride the Toy Story ride. Laura has a lot of favorite rides so when I asked her what she was looking forward to I expected to hear shouts of Splash Mountain, Finding Nemo or the Matterhorn. Instead Laura said she wanted to ride Thunder Mountain, which shocked both Sam and I. We have taken Laura many times to both Disney World and Disneyland but, she has only ridden Big Thunder Mountain once. For hours after the ride she complained it hurt her stomach and swore she would never set foot on that mountain again, but bringing it up now and assuring us it will be great this time is typical Laura. When it was Dad's turn to share what he was looking forward to, he started by telling us about the research he has done on how tall you have to be to go on different rides. This trip Laura will not only be a 5 year old but she is also 43" tall, yes she finally out grew the you must be taller then 42" sign. Sam was disappointed that Laura was still not tall enough for the Indian Jones ride but, excited that this meant she was finally tall enough for Space Mountain. I immediately responded with a flat out NO! Sam loves roller coasters and crazy rides, unfortunately he fell in love with someone with a very weak stomach. Therefore since Laura was a baby he has been conditioning her to go on amusement park rides with him, the training up til recently has consisted of mostly being shaken and flip around a lot. The whole Thunder Mountain incident has Sam scared that she won't be up for the task of riding the thrill rides so, he is eager to get her back out there for another try. My fears are more obvious and I'm not sure Laura is ready to ride the big rides. Sam simply told Laura "Don't listen to Mom, she's just being a mom". Can't wait to see what the little dare devil does!

Special snack planning.....

Yep I can't believe it on Valentine's day , in just 2 short weeks our little baby, will turn 5 years old.

Laura's First Valentine's Day....

The last 2 years Dad has been gone for her Birthday and I have done parties for her. This year since we don't have a lot of good friends with kids living close by, I opted not to do a party. I say I decided because it has taken a lot of convincing to get Laura on board with this idea. I still feel guilty because I know she wants a party but was easily confused in the discussion.

Laura's Second Valentine's Day...

Laura's third Valentine's Day....

But there is still a lot to be done before I can celebrate my victory. I was informed by both Laura and her teacher that the kids often bring in a "special Snack" to celebrate there birthday in class. This "special snack" has to be scheduled, purchased and served by me. All of this I was prepared for until another bomb was dropped, she wants to give out goody bags too. This information has honestly sent my head into a tailspin. Last year we gave out treat bags for Valentine's/ Birthday at school, but this year in an attempt to give her a special time of her own at school I scheduled her Birthday Snack for the school day after the valentine's party. Should we bring in small treat bags for both? Should we just do plain valentines for the party and treat bags for the Birthday snack? But most importantly don't I have anything more important to worry about then goody bags?

Laura's fourth Valentine's day.....

Laura's fifth Valentine's Day...

Questioning Plans...

The events of the last 6 weeks has us questioning the choices we made. Last night at dinner Sam brought up some past decisions that could have changed our lives dramatically if we went the other way. He questioned weather eight years ago should he have turned down that navigator slot? This coming from Sam shocked me, he has always been so sure of our lives and that the space world was a perfect fit for him. He went on to explain to me that things in our life could be different. As we talked I took the stand that we can't question every decision we have made in the last decade. But later when I was laying in bed rehashing the conversation I wondered could Sam have a point? Could a change in the scenery or a slight tweak in the time line really have invoked any serious changes? Would these changes be for the better?

The space man!

Words to plan by...

Even though I consider myself the ultimate planner, Sam and I have tried to tell ourselves "That everything happens for a reason". This has become our own little motto when things don't turn out as originally planned. It actually has been very easy for Sam, he's not much into making plans and speculating what the future will bring. I've learned to semi- embrace this philosophy mostly because everything has always worked out in the end for us. In the last 2 months this motto, that we have used to comfort ourselves during unexpected moves and when a wrench is thrown in the plan, has blown up in our faces. No matter how I look at it I can't justify or find the "reason" for us not having a baby. Maybe someday this reason will become clear and give us some comfort.

Sam and I in 2004!

A planned visit from Sam Wee...

This weekend we had a visitor at our house, Samuel, a stuffed brown bear. Samuel is the class "pet" from Laura's class. Way back in August when school started Laura came home all excited to tell us about Samuel. She told us about how all the kids in the class get a turn to take home the bear named Sam Wee. We spent what felt like hours talking about Sam Wee, and every time he came up Sam and I would say "And his name is Sam Wee?". Laura doesn't always speak clearly, she has a hard time with certain beginnings and endings of words, so we are constantly asking her to repeat herself and trying to decipher what she is saying. Imagine our surprise when we went in for our parent teacher conference and told the teacher how excited Laura was to get a turn taking care of Sam Wee, who we now just thought of as the Asian class pet.

Just another misunderstanding in our house!

Seeing a change in future plans...

Yesterday on our way to school I was driving down the highway thinking of what we would have named the baby. Yes, I know it has been almost a month so naming the baby really shouldn't be something I'm thinking about. But anyways, Laura interruptedmy thoughts from the back seat by asking me what my middle name was. How did she know that I too was thinking about names.


Now Sam and I have been signing Laura up for different activities hopping to find Laura's ninch. I was hopping that she would excel at something and could continue enjoying it for years. I saw a couple of advantages to her being involved in sports, dance or music, she could use it to meet friends as we move around or get a scholarship to college. It gets me excited just thinking about what we can do with her college fund when she attends Harvard on a full scholarship. This plan has changed now that I know Laura's special gift is reading minds, she's psychic. I doubt this is a skill that Harvard, or any of the other Ivy leagues are looking for.






Do they have clairvoyant classes and clubs for kids? Hmm... I guess not.

Planning on getting out...

A little background Info for you: My Name is Sarah, I'm a 27 year old Stay at home mom. My husband, Sam is an officer in the Air Force and we currently live in Las Vegas, Nevada. Our Daughter, Laura is 4 and we were expecting our second baby in May. But in December we went in for our 20 week ultrasound to find out the baby had no heartbeat. I delivered a girl on December 19th.



When we lost the baby "they" told me that everyone deals with this differently. At first I thought I would never get over it. But it turns out "they" were right I did start to deal with it in my own way. Problem is my way is starting to surprise even me. Sam has been back at work for almost two weeks now and I haven't really left the house. I have dutifully dropped Laura off and picked her up from school every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and even stopped off to pick up a gallon of milk once. But other then that I've remained shut up here at home. I think Why should I go out, at home I don't have to deal with babies and pregnant women.

Don't feel bad for me just yet though, being an almost shut in has it's advantages. So far I've done some online shopping and spent my Christmas gift cards, Completed a 1,000 piece dolphin puzzle, watched my Sisters Keeper thanks to Netflix, and organized everyone's closet. I finally feel like I can sleep at night without the worry of what is really lurking in the back of the closet.

Waiting on the UPS man to bring me my cool new pair of "damaged" jeans. I'm sure then I'll be ready to head out!

Let the planning begin!

When Sam and I got married I was sure we would have all these great times, so I started planning for them. When we should have kids, what states we should live in, and what vacations we should take were all wonderful plans that formed in my head. Turns out life dosen't work that way a little oops changed the 5 year plan on kids to 1, the Air Force didn't care where we wanted to live and vacation plans drastically change when you have a baby to tote around with you.

Is this really my life?