A survival plan...

We Survived Disneyland. It turns out all of Sam's preparations and training have paid off and Laura is in fact an adrenaline junky. we discovered that she has no fear of heights as she plummeted down an elevator shaft on Tower of Terror and Laura also proved she has a stomach of steel by riding Space Mountain over and over with Dad. Don't worry there was a nice shop at the exit for me to browse, since Mom barley made it one time without blowing chunks. I have to admit even though I'm exhausted and hate that I now have to conquer the mountain of laundry, I enjoyed our much needed family time and can't wait to do it again!

Planning around Laura...

In the last couple of weeks we had to rearrange some future plans, not once but twice, around Laura's school and dance schedule. The first time when I told my Mom I couldn't come home the 1st weekend in June because Laura had Pre-K graduation I felt kinda silly. My Mom was understanding and we compromised on the next weekend, because lets face it who can pass up a chance to see a recent pre-K graduate. But this week when someone asked us to do something, before making plans we had to stop and say "Let us check Laura's schedule first", while no one said anything to us I know they were doing a mental eye roll. But then I heard Sam say something I think we both were feeling "it might seem dumb to everyone else, but Laura's all we have and it's not dumb to her". So with this statement still ringing in our ears we head off to Disneyland hopefully we can leave the scheduling and request behind for the next few days.

Scheduling a rest...

Laura's big Birthday weekend had finally arrived and not a moment to soon because the boxes had been arriving for weeks. The Storage room or baby room, use which ever makes us look less pathetic, was filling up fast. Of course, I had a few fun activities planned for the weekend so we would have something to do. But my simple plans of the cookie place on Saturday and bowling then Chuck E. Cheese on Sunday soon snowballed out of control. One of Sam's coworkers volunteered to watch Laura Friday night so we could go out. Originally when Sam called me with this idea I said no, but I quickly remembered my previous statement about spending more time with Sam. So with 30 minutes notice I got Laura ready for a couple of hours at a friends house and me for dinner at P.F. Changs. Saturday we went to the cookie place as planned and then waited around while Sam inspected and reinspected every T.V. at both Target and Walmart. On Sunday, the big day for Laura, we opened presents and went bowling as planned, squeezed in an unplanned stop for lunch, then swung by Walmart for a cake. By the time we arrived at Chuck E. Cheese, with the line out the door that night, Sam and I had had enough. Good thing we had Monday to recuperate, until we remembered ballet and that we were officially out of milk and had to do another stop by the store.

Don't worry I have all week, well the 4 days that are left, to get ready for a trip, do cupcakes at school and clean up. I'm sure that will be very relaxing!

An unplanned Laura tidbit...

Yesterday when Laura and I got in the car to run some errands, Laura informed me that "the car smells like green beans". This left me wondering what I did to the inside of my car to get a green bean smell? How do I get the green bean smell out? And how does Laura know what green beans smell like when she has refused to ever try one?

Planning some time with Sam...

I'm afraid I've been a little self absorbed lately. Yes, the last couple months have hit me hard and left me feeling a little crazy sometimes. But maybe it's time I talk to Sam not about me, but about him. We have lived in our house now for almost 10 months, trash days have always been Monday and Thursday. The neighbors all diligently place there for the garbage men to pick up early Monday and Thursdays mornings, and we follow suit. In our house Sam has taken the responsibility of getting the trash to the curb before pickup. Sometimes I remind him on a Sunday night but he always has the same reply " I haven't forgotten yet".
so imagine my surprise this morning when I went to take the trash out and found our lone trash can at the curb. Today is Wednesday. Sam might be loosing it.

Not the answer I planned...

For about 55 hours this weekend, through a Flight Doctors mistake, I had the answer I was searching for. But I soon realised that this answer didn't automatically make everything better like I had thought it would. Sam was happy because the answer they offered us also assured us that this was a one time thing and couldn't affect any other babies we chose to have. I on the other hand just hurt. This bogus answer brought me a million more questions, not to mention guilt. But mostly this answer scared me, if something as trivial as some germs, brought home from preschool, could kill my baby what else is waiting out there?
I know what everyone is probably thinking about me that it's been 8 weeks and I should be able to put this behind me and move past this. Do I want another baby? No, I wanted this baby. She can't be replaced. All babies are not the same. All we know about the baby we lost in December is that she was a girl, 7 inches long and only weighted 5 oz. Did she have blue eyes and blond like Laura? Was her blood type A like me or B like Sam? If we decide to move forward and start over the next baby might not be anything like her, the next baby might even be a boy. Do I want another baby? I want the one my body promised me, I want the baby that was normal and healthy the 3 times we heard her heart beat.I think I might finally be ready to move on.

An unexpected and short lived windfall...

It's the most wonderful time of the year! No it's not Christmas in February or even back to school time yet. It's tax season!
Since Sam has been gone for the last two tax filings. I got nicely acquainted with turbo tax and our w-2s. The First year I did it own my own was difficult, the program asked for pins and numbers set the previous year. It took some time searching in the little plastic filing cabinet, where we keep all important documents, but I found and organized all the tax paper work from years past. Therefore the next year when Sam was off supporting the war from space, I confidently filed the taxes again. There was a small hick up that year, it had me watching out the window for IRS for a few days. But, since they never showed up I thought it was best to keep that to myself.
So this year when tax season came back around I was excited to bring out the trusty filing cabinet and show Sam how efficient I now am at filing the taxes. It turns out all I got to show him was how well paper clipped the last two years where, I'm sure he was impressed. After about an hour of work, in which time I did notice him admiring the blue paper clip I used last year, Sam announced we would be receiving money back. We were not expecting much of a refund since Sam was working out of the country half the year and wasn't paying taxes, so this was a happy surprise. We immediately started planning our spending, after all isn't that was the president wants us to do with our refund? Sam mentioned a new T.V. and I started dreaming of some place warm and tropical. Then reality hit us both, we still have school loans to pay. O- Well having money was fun while it lasted.