Unexpected Return....

This weekend we took out our Christmas decorations. Decorating for Christmas has put Sam and I in a strange mood. Having the house set up for the holidays again reminded us of last year at this time. When we hung our three stockings by the chimney with care 12 months ago, we were already planning on where the fourth stocking would go. When we wrapped the presents for Laura we were already discussing buying presents for a baby again. Of course a couple of weeks after the decorations where up we learned we would not have a 7 month old in the house during the next holiday season. What followed in the next couple weeks was some of the worst times in my life. the memory of the grief I felt in those couple of weeks is still very clear, but I haven't thought about it much lately. It was astonishing how clear some of those feelings returned, by putting garland up on the mantel and bulbs on the tree we were reminded that a whole year has passed.

Thankful...

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for what we have. Instead of being thankful recently I have dwelled on what I don't have. This year I'm thankful for many things, but in light of everything we have been going through to have another baby I'm most thankful for Laura. She is a smart, beautiful, and independent big girl who is developing quite a sense of humor. I have always taken for granted how easy Laura has always been. She became a part of our lives as the best surprise I've ever received. There were no hormone tests or pills to conceive Laura and after an uneventful pregnancy she came into the world quietly. She continues to surprise us every day with her eagerness to learn and empathy for others. She defiantly has her moments of trouble, but I'm very thankful she is part of our small family.